


It's my life

by Obsidian_bestfriend



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:21:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22277785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsidian_bestfriend/pseuds/Obsidian_bestfriend





	1. Chapter 1

School isn't easy, and we all know that.  


Sure, there are some people who don't struggle in their studies as much as others do; either because they do advanced reading or they are more interested in that particular topic. The others are the ones who have a hard time especially during the tests; because they still couldn't get their spelling nor grammar correctly or they would easily confuse one topic with another. There is also the possibility of them not listening during class or not being able to get enough time to study.  
  
Or maybe they just don't want to study.  
  
I'm not a student who excels in her subjects, nor a student who fails in them. I'm more of in-between. My attention span would depend whether or not I'm interested in the topic. And lately, I've been getting average scores on my exams, so no one congratulates me nor laughs at me. I wouldn't mind it and just walk back to my seat because I don't care about what they think.  
  
No one wastes their time talking to me anyways.

I'm in the same batch as I was ever since I entered this school 8 years ago. I'm sure that my batch mates already know me because of the multiple times they've passed the doorway with me still stubbornly staying on my seat--whether it's before the morning prayer, during breaks, or during departure. I would always wait for everyone to leave before I go home because I wouldn't want to risk bumping anyone and catching their attention unwillingly in the frequently crowded hallways. I often arrive later than anyone during the morning and leave later than anyone during departure every single school year unless we had something to submit or I was going somewhere with my family after school. I know everyone treats me as that one student who was just there--a loner unlike everyone else who had their own friend groups. I was that one student who would rarely leave the classroom unless I was supposed to, and that person who was partners with that student who was left without a partner during pair works or group works. I'm not even sure anyone knows my first name.  
  
I was always Vi. "Vi" to the teachers, "Vi" to the class officers, "Vi" to the rest of the school personnel. I think it's only the teachers who know my whole name because they have those class lists and the people who print my I.D. because they've got to know my name for that I.D. to be complete. Everyone else has no clue.

The teachers have tried their best to get at least a few people to talk to me, to get to know me. I mentioned those group works and performance tasks, but I would prefer to do most of those activities alone. I was never the social type of girl. I was never one to talk to other people against my will. And I was never one to make friends no matter how many times my parents have asked me if I've made new friends every single school year. I would just laugh it off and tell them that I've chosen to stay with my friends from the past school years. That I've chosen to stay with my old friend group. As if I had ever been part of a friend group in the first place, but my family doesn't know that.  
  
  
And now that I'm in grade 8, which is basically the 2nd year of high school for my school, I'm being exposed by my parents to other people. They've put me in my school's soccer varsity because they said I was a great midfielder with enough control on the ball to cross a whole soccer field. But I doubt that I would have friends even though I'm part of a varsity. I don't think I'll be able to make friends for all the years I'm going to be here in school.  
  
It might not be a good thing if we put it in the context of my future career, but, well, I'll make it work out. As long as I wouldn't be judged by anyone in my lifetime. And as long as I wouldn't get that close to anyone that I would be afraid to loose them. That I would be afraid to let them go.


	2. You're not real, are you?

It was another day of school, and I'm thankful we don't have practice this afternoon.  
  
I know that I would most probably spend my time on my seat as usual, and also be studying about the upcoming tests. I was considering going to the air-conditioned high school library and work there, because barely anyone goes to the library. They would stay in the classrooms or the hallways and make unnecessary noise by talking about 'utter nonsense' for me but something that totally makes sense to them. 

I could tell some were slightly taken aback when I headed outside as soon as we finished our prayer before meals. It was recess, and I usually wouldn't eat anything and just hang around my seat. As I was walking towards the door, which was literally beside my seat, I heard some whispers like "Hey, I thought she was glued to that chair?" or "Oh look, she finally managed to leave her closest friend." but I didn't mind them like the other comments they used to pass around. I brought with me my books, my black and red pen, and that black notebook I bring everyday where I take note of what happens during the day. There were still some snide remarks when I was passing the hallways but I managed to get to the library without being stopped by anyone, even the teachers.  
  
And now it's time to study English and Science.

I opened my English book to the page I marked. We were supposed to read a classical work for our class and discuss it in the test. I find it difficult to read the chapters of the book when I'm stressed, so I started early to be able to finish it ahead of the test. Plus, our test wasn't open-book unlike the other tests.

It was about 5 minutes since I started continuing to read the book when I felt someone standing behind me and looking over my shoulder. I figured that it was one of the librarians checking what I was doing, but then the shadow looked like it was a student. A student that was in the same batch as me.

"Estre, right?" that person asked, and I was surprised that she called me by my first name. I don't think I've heard her voice from anyone in grade 8 this year, so it was most probably one of the new students. But still, how does she know my first name? And why is she here in the library?

"Most people just call me Vi," I replied, not looking at her because of my antisocial nature. But I still decided to talk to her, and now I'm wondering why I even replied to her question.

"I know it's weird because everyone in our batch calls you Vi, except me," the person said, taking me by surprise. Okay, she _is_ a grade 8 student, but why does it seem like I don't know her? Maybe it's because she's part of a different section; but now that I glance at her shadow again, I realized that I haven't seen anyone in the batch throughout the 8 years I've been here with that kind of appearance, I'm sure. Because I managed to make myself turn around and look at who was talking to me.

"I'm Kimino Katsune," she introduced herself. "Nice to see you again, Estre."

I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but, "Do I know you?"

"Well, I guess you don't remember who I am," she realized. "Can I sit, at least?"

"Sure," I replied, moving over a bit so she can sit beside me. I have no idea why I'm letting some sort of complete stranger, even though she's part of my batch, to sit beside me. There was some familiarity, but not to the point that I would know if I've met her or not.  
  
"Are you a new student?" I asked curiously, trying to figure out who she actually was.

"No. I entered this school two years earlier than you," she answered, and then pulled the book I was reading towards her. "Studying for the upcoming exams?"

"Yeah."

"What happens in chapters one to five, then?"

I gaped at her, not expecting her to actually help me with my studies. Remember that people would usually just ignore me or make nonsense rumors about me? Well, this person isn't like that. She's actually trying to guide me in studying.

"The main characters were introduced in the first chapter and throughout the 2nd to the 5th chapters, the main character describes how her life is living in the streets," I answered without even asking her why she was helping me. I had no idea why, but somehow the familiarity vibe was making me stay calm even with how antisocial I was. We continued studying with her asking the questions about the chapters I've read and helping me understand the next chapters while I was reading it. Recess had never felt so short in my entire life.  
  
But I realized something about her. She showed restraint when reaching for objects like when she was about to write something in my book, she withdrew her hand quickly as if she just realized something and told me to write it instead. Maybe she just didn't like her handwriting, but there was also something strange in the way that she was seated on that chair. She only sat there until after she asked me the first question and then stood up as if she had sat on something. And she never touched me. Normally, people would get others' attention by tapping them on the shoulder, but she just called me using words. It was like she couldn't hold anything. Like she wasn't able to hold my pen and book and sit down on that seat for more than a few minutes. It was just like if she passes those few minutes and was still holding onto an object, it would go through her. 

I was sure that was the case when it was time to go back to the classroom. I was going to tell her that the bell was about to ring by tapping her shoulder like all 'normal' people do, but when I tried, my hand just went through her shoulder. It turned sort of transparent and went back to normal when I retracted my hand. Surely, my eyes aren't kidding me.

  
"You're not real, are you?" I asked her seriously, making sure none of the librarians hear me and I wouldn't be late for my next class. 

She turned around and sighed, her encouraging expression gone. It was replaced by a blank look. "You noticed," she stated. It wasn't an answer that I expected, if it was actually an answer. 

"Yes," I replied cautiously, not knowing what she would do next.

To my surprise, she smiled. "Now that you know, there's no need to hide it anymore!"

"What?"

"Look, I'm tired of hiding the fact that I'm dead, all right? I just want to be free from all this restraint!"

"...you're dead?"

She covered her mouth. "I wasn't supposed to tell you that! But yeah...I am. And I'm here to make sure you survive your last years of school."

I stared at her. It wasn't hard to believe that she was already some sort of ghost or spirit because I'm sure I don't see her during the assemblies, but then I still had a ton of questions and the bell was going to ring in about a minute. I quickly settled on one and asked, "I can see you, right? Does that mean so can everybody else?"

She tilted her head to the right. "No," she answered. "Last time I checked, you're the only one who actually knows that I'm here right now. In the same school I've been for the past 10 years. But then,

this is the 3rd year I didn't come back alive."


	3. Dreams aren't real

_"What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?"_

_"Trust?"_

_"Not trust."_

_"The heart of another person?"_

_"Of course not, where did you get that?"_

_"A promise?"_

_"Yes, it's a promise."_

_"Do you promise not to break any of the promises you make to me, then?"_

_"Why would I break them in the first place?"_

_"All right. Promise never to mention that you have no worth, no purpose, no contribution to this world. You are important, especially to me and your family."_

_Silence._

_"I promise."_

Next thing I saw was me in my room facing my parents. I was just finishing my homework when they suddenly went in and told me the bad news. My best friend and her family died in a fire a while ago morning. I couldn't believe it until I was driven by my parents to their funeral. It was already 12 AM when I slept, because I saw my best friend in front of me, crying and sort of blaming me for her death.  
  
_"I thought you promised me not to break any of the promises you've made to me? You promised that you wouldn't mention that you're useless, but you still did it! You're not worthless! You're important--you're the daughter of your parents and my only best friend! Have you ever thought of your tactlessness? What you say affects other people! Ever wondered what caused the fire? I was shaken with your words that I didn't watch over what I was cooking and the whole house caught fire!"_

I was staring at her in horror when she 'appeared' to me. It was obvious that she was the main victim of the fire; her body was burnt and there were gashes all over her arms. But what scared me the most was what she said. Why did I even forget that promise and let myself be carried away by my regrets?! And now I'm the cause of her death--

. . . . . .

That was where the dream ended.

I woke up with cold sweat. I remember having that dream before when I was grade 5. I was really scared that my parents had to wake me up, telling me that I was screaming in my sleep. I'm not sure if I actually had a best friend, and if I actually promised that to her, but I remember mentioning that I had no purpose and no one cared about me in the past few years I've been in this school. I just don't remember who I was talking to. 

I'm still traumatized by that dream, even though it hasn't bothered me for the past three years--wait a minute. Three years? Wasn't that what...

"Estre Vi! You're going to be late for school if you don't get out of your room in a minute!" my parents called from the living room.

"All right!" I replied, getting out of bed and getting ready for school. It would be another day of going to the library and studying for the tests. And maybe Kimino Katsune would be there as well. I just hope she would still help me study like she did yesterday. I like the way she helps me study because some of her questions are unexpected and I always have a feeling they would come up in the test. She's great at context clues and helps me figure out what the complex and unfamiliar words in my English novel mean. And maybe, just maybe, she would be able to help me find out what the meaning of my dream is.


End file.
